We tried it last year and we’re bringing it back by request. It's a conversational experiment designed to not only help us share things about ourselves but also to listen, without comment, as someone shares with us.
These types of conversations are at the core of how we organize for the people and places we love.
There's a lot of talk these days about what it means to come together and understand where each other is coming from. This is a great way to explore what that can look and feel like for yourself.
All credit where credit is due: Iowa CCI has adapted this Civic Love social experiment crafted by the National Public Housing Museum.
When: February 20, 2024 from 6:00 PM to 7:30 PM
Where: Online - via Zoom! IA
Description from the National Public Housing Museum
In 1997, psychologist Arthur Aron explored whether intimacy between two perfect strangers could be accelerated by asking each other a set of 36 questions. We adapted his questions for use in a new kind of social experiment, aimed at helping us all fall in civic love.
What is civic love? In her manifesto for 21st century activism, Detroit-based organizer Grace Lee Boggs implored, “We urgently need to bring to our communities the limitless capacity to love, serve, and create for and with each other.” It is from this directive that the National Public Housing Museum created its conception of Civic Love.
Civic Love is one’s love for society, expressed through a commitment to the common good. It is a belief in the idea that we’re all better off, when we are all better off. We manifest Civic Love through all kinds of actions—volunteering, marching, speaking against systemic injustice, making reparations—and always with the love itself is the emotional heart of the work.
Everywhere we learn that love is important, and yet we are bombarded by its failure…This bleak picture in no way alters the nature of our longing. We still hope that love will prevail. We still believe in love’s promise. - bell hooks
We invite you to invest in civic “love’s promise”—asking and answering questions ranging from “What sound wakes you at the start of your day?” to “What law would you change for the betterment of your community?” —to test if we can grow civic love.
How it works - what to expect
You and a partner will each ask each other a series of 25 questions (we cut them down). You should allocate 90 minutes to the process, though previous participants have finished in less time.
Take turns introducing yourself. Continue to take turns, asking your partner each of the 25 questions. You ask a question and your partner answers; your partner then asks you the SAME question and you answer. Repeat using the remaining 25 questions.
Don’t jump around. Answer the questions sequentially, 1 to 25. Though some questions may be difficult — challenge yourself to stay in it, answering all of the questions to the best of your ability. This experiment is designed to not only help us share things about ourselves but also to listen, without comment, as someone shares with us. Make every attempt to listen with curiosity, minimizing distractions and interruptions.
Resist the urge to give feedback on your partner’s response or to ask additional questions about their answers. Allow them the space to simply share and be heard.